Birthday

Turned 25 yesterday. Happy Birthday to me.

So much to celebrate. Trying to focus on that and not on all the things I have to worry about.

{G Image search for Birthday gave above result}

Screwed

I am so screwed.

Control

I am losing control. I am terrified. There are some days when I feel like I can't lift my head up from this downward spiral.

It's a mad sinking feeling; forever heading down, and I am about to hit the bottom.

Help.

Work

It feels good to have work. I like knowing there is a job waiting for me after finals are done. Though the pay is paltry; it is a job. And it will pay the rent for the next few months.

After that, well. I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

{G Image search for Work yielded the photo above}

Finality

Oh, finals. They strike fear in the hearts of students everywhere. Such a strong connotation of finality in the word. It is the final opportunity to prove your worth, after all.

You go in, type or write as fast as you can for one hour, two hours, three hours. You leave it all on the paper, on the screen. You pour out everything you have forcefully stuffed into your brain.

Then you wait a few days, weeks. Nervous and awful waiting. Until you get the results.

Then you cry or smile. Or just sigh and be satisfied with being mediocre.

Are you worth more than most people? Less? Or are you just ordinary in every possible way?

What is your worth?

What is mine?

{Image found doing a G Image search for Finality}

Upward

After the past few weekends, things must start looking upward in my relationship. They just...must.

I am severely depressed today. But tomorrow will be better. I have decided this; it will happen.

Time to sleep away the sadness.

G Image search for Upward result above.

Exhausted

I have been outlining for Copyright Law since I got home from work. Short breaks here and there, but now it is almost 3:30 am. I have been up since 6 am. I am exhausted. I am very nearly done and am making constant typing mistakes; so I think this is a good time to stop and call it a night.

In the midst of all the cases and law I am combing through tonight, I find myself often wondering why people in my life are not more supportive of me. I hate being distracted from studying with sad, nagging thoughts like that.

Sleep now. Hopefully my a few hours rest will clear my mind.

(Image found when G Image searching for Exhausted)